forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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