It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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