There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
