i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
