Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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