the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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