It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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