So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
