Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
