i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
time to smoke my breakfast
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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