so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
