On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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