Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
