Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
