ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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