If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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