i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
