he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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