I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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