We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We just shotgunned beers for America
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
