Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
