he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
