god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
