Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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