you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
