I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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