it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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