Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
