Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
