I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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