Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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