party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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