Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
