Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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