saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
