hotel room ftw
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Let the clothes fall where they may.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
