hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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