she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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