yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
