I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he fucked my hip out of place.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
