9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
