this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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