i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
