i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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