I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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