I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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