So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
