I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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