i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
