Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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