youre lurking in front of me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Randomize
