dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
