that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
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whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
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and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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