I have demons in me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
