Your face is a jimmy john
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
