haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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