dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
