I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize