I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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