Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
