Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
No stitches, just platelets and will power
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
