I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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