If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize