I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
